The Sopranos

by Alan Warner

"The choir from Our Lady of Perpetual Succour School for Girls is being bused from the Port on Scotland's western coast to the national singing finals in the big, big city. And it's an important day for the Sopranos: Orla, Kylah, (Ra)Chell, Manda, and Fionnula (the Cooler) - pub crawling, shoplifting, and body-piercing being top priorities. Then it's time to lose that competition - lose, because a nuclear sub has just anchored back in the bay and, tonight, the Mantrap disco will be full of submariners on shore-leave. There is no time for delays, but after the fifth bottle of alco-pop in...

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